Friday, March 16, 2012

Am I bald yet?

My sister and her boyfriend came over last night. They are staying the weekend at our place. After playing a round of Word with Friends, we started talking about the troubles we are having with my dad. Apparently, he is getting himself in deep by listening to the wife of his late-friend. I don't really want to get into everything that is driving my sisters and I to pulling out our hair, but I can't help but think... am I bald yet??

Out of my entire family, my husband and I are the most secure. The oldest has social anxiety pretty bad and is lucky enough to hold a job at Market Basket. The third-born is extremely proud to be in the maintenance crew at Hannaford. The baby of the family is still in college waiting for her chance to take a stab at life. My dad is infamously unemployed to which he spends all of his time with the "disabled" wife of his dead friend.

I don't know how to get rid of this ugly feeling that my dad's life is going to create a domino effect and cause the lives of his 4 daughters to crash and burn along with his. He is becoming more paranoid, more pessimistic and sour towards the world. Now don't get me wrong he was always pretty sour but it seems to have gotten progressively worse. After moving out of my father's house, I noticed how bitter I was towards the entire world. Since then, I have tried very, very hard to make the best of life. What's the point of life if you go through it entirely unhappy? So I've made the decision to just be happy and it's been wonderful! However, my dad is unknowingly threatening to destroy this.

What does one do when a loved one is changing into a person you don't want to be around? What does one do when they can't seem to do anything to change it? I already lost my mom... I don't want to lose my dad as well! I still need him! I will always need him!!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment