The Great Debate

So almost everyone that knows me knows that ever since I got married, I have been very eager to start a family. I was also bound and determined to be a stay at home mom. At first, we didn't because we weren't ready. We wanted to have fun before we tied ourselves down. Once we decided we were ready, it became a financial concern. I was unemployed with virtually no employable skills. Now that I have a job and it isn't a financial concern, we have planned for waiting a couple years (it's not fair for them to put all this time to train me then I leave because I have a child). Now, I am questioning whether or not I should stay at home. All of these years of not being able to find a job, I finally have one and I want to give it up after a couple years? It just doesn't make logical sense to me. The whole reason why I wanted to be a SAHM was because I wanted to focus on my child. I wanted on focus on teaching them everything I could about the world. I didn't want someone I hardly knew doing that. Now, I know plenty of working moms who do a great job with their children. I know that it is possible to have a job and teach your child at the same time. I just feel I would do a better job if I were able to focus solely on them. I know I really shouldn't be concerning myself with this right now, it's not like it's happening 9 months from now. The thoughts just go through my head constantly, and I don't know how to put them to rest.

I guess a way I could approach this is like this: being a mom means that you have to be completely selfless. You have to think of what would be best for your child, not necessarily yourself. I want to have a career, but I want to do everything I could for my child. I feel I can't succeed at both. I guess I have to do what is best for my child, not for me.