As I have mentioned before, two of my friends are going through a divorce together. I spent time and received the story of the husband view. I've been waiting for the wife to mention her side and it finally happened today. She lives on the other side of the state from me and is very, very busy all the time. So, I didn't really get to speak with her in person, but rather through Facebook. Their stories seemed to match except for one key aspect: it seemed like something was lacking in the communication department.
The husband's point of view was that he was very unhappy because the wife wouldn't let him hang out with his friends and she wasn't very supportive of the new "hobby" he had taken in. According to him, she was forcing him away from the things that made him happy.
The wife's point of view is that he was very depressed and he refused to be treated. Also, he wanted to do his new "hobby" more than he wanted to be with her.
It may have just been that I was able to get more details from the husband because I got to hang out with him in person and not enough details from the wife because I talked to her over Facebook. But it did seem like there was some kind of disconnect in what each one of them thought. She was saying he was depressed, while he was saying why he was depressed. It could be that she didn't realize what she was doing, or she didn't want to tell me everything that was going on. I mean really, it's none of my business, so I don't fully blame her. It was one or both was not listening or one or both was not talking. They are both blaming each other for the termination of the relationship. When, I think, the lack of communication from both of them is really to blame. Now I'm not saying that this was their only problem. There was a lot going on, some that I am completely unaware of. But through observing, listening and analyzing what I do know, I can conclude that their lack of communication was partially to blame.
Communication is the only way, not only relationships can survive, but it's sort of how the world functions properly. Think about it this way: if cars didn't have break lights or turn signals, there would be more accidents. If the couple in a relationship don't use communication to let each other know which way they are going, there are going to be more bumps, crashes, and accidents.
The husband's point of view was that he was very unhappy because the wife wouldn't let him hang out with his friends and she wasn't very supportive of the new "hobby" he had taken in. According to him, she was forcing him away from the things that made him happy.
The wife's point of view is that he was very depressed and he refused to be treated. Also, he wanted to do his new "hobby" more than he wanted to be with her.
It may have just been that I was able to get more details from the husband because I got to hang out with him in person and not enough details from the wife because I talked to her over Facebook. But it did seem like there was some kind of disconnect in what each one of them thought. She was saying he was depressed, while he was saying why he was depressed. It could be that she didn't realize what she was doing, or she didn't want to tell me everything that was going on. I mean really, it's none of my business, so I don't fully blame her. It was one or both was not listening or one or both was not talking. They are both blaming each other for the termination of the relationship. When, I think, the lack of communication from both of them is really to blame. Now I'm not saying that this was their only problem. There was a lot going on, some that I am completely unaware of. But through observing, listening and analyzing what I do know, I can conclude that their lack of communication was partially to blame.
Communication is the only way, not only relationships can survive, but it's sort of how the world functions properly. Think about it this way: if cars didn't have break lights or turn signals, there would be more accidents. If the couple in a relationship don't use communication to let each other know which way they are going, there are going to be more bumps, crashes, and accidents.
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| To my husband: Thank you! |
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